i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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