Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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