is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I yelled at your uterus for you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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