You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
