My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Congratulations! We have a period
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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