Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
