I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
