I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
