My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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