Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize