Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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