I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
