she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
