just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize