dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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