from now on my penis is your penis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
