I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
