I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
