i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize