I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
