just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
