it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
