I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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