I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
