she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize