fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
