bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
