You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
