I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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