"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
