is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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