she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This baby is an asshole
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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