Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize