He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
