Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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