Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
