I think I died a long time ago.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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