Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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