Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
