I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
