I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
