it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
