Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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