forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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