He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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