There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
