Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pants are for mortals
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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