The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize