Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
