Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
