I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he thought i was a dude.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
