i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
