I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
