Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
