So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
