Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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