i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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